First of all - the Toyota trucks you listed are two of the most reliable vehicle's available on the market. With multiple, long generations, a huge aftermarket following, and plenty of cray folk who will defend their perceived unblemished reliability attitude till death. You're comparing it to a car that doesn't have much history in terms of reliability. If that was the first and primary concern, for the life of me I can't understand why you'd buy a new car in it's first generation for the 2nd or 3rd model year. And why you didn't buy the old year model Fit in the first place. The decision making stinks of indiscretion and full of emotion, which matches the opinions in the post.
I found early on this is an economy box trans... go figure
If it's driven hard - if it's shifted at high rpms or with hard upshifts, it grinds. So my solution was - find out how to align the cables myself - and stop shifting it hard.
Although I don't doubt some trans from the factory are weaker than others, yes I do agree it's partially the driver, my little bro drove my car around to test it out, he wasn't getting on it too much, and he ground second and third a few times. He's not a complete novice at driving a standard either.
I had a new venture trans in an older truck that ground gears every time the temperature was below about 40 F. Nothing I could do about it, changed to different oils etc. And you live in a cold environment. Just another idea that may not have come up.
The shock and links are the only real issues - get aftermarket ones.
Unfortunately most of the bad reviews like this are from dealer experiences, and the issues with the car are actually not that serious at all.